Well it's official, I'm going back to school to earn my masters degree in International Relations. I was accepted into the University of Keele a month ago and today I received my letter of acceptance to the University of Sheffield! I'm still waiting on Bristol, but nonetheless I'm incredibly excited to be heading back to the U.K. and to be going back to university. I still have a few months left in the good ol` U.S.A before I start fall semester in the land of Yorkshire pudding, pints, and Primark but I am definitely going to miss Seattle. Stay tuned for more! :)

I told her right there, “That’s your philosophy, but that’s not how I live my life.” My mother wasn’t bitter or unhappy with how her life turned out. It was simply that my parents came from a time where that was the mindset; especially for my mother who had been supporting herself since she was 16-years-old. Working hard was what she knew.

I realized all this even then, but I thought this was an outdate philosophy that didn't need to pertain to my life. Things were different, this wasn't the 1980s and the world was at my fingertips...or so I thought.

Two years later in December 2008 I graduated from university and the full extent of the economic recession was realized. Less than a year later, I was lucky enough to find a job at my current place of employment. At 23-years old I have worked hard and I am financially stable -- but I’m not happy with the path my life took.

My story is not unique and while I realize how lucky I am to have a secure job, I am defeated by the idea that my generation the 'most educated, the most traveled' the age group that has been considered to have the 'most potential’ doesn’t get to have it’s cake and eat it too. Where we thought we would be is very different from where we have ended up. I know how naïve that sounds and maybe that’s true of every generation but it’s a depressing idea that we must work hard and hope for happiness later.

My ex and I were talking the other night about my unhappiness in my job – he was lucky enough to be working on his PhD in a science field (where you basically not only get most of your tuition paid for but they give you a stipend to boot) doing something he loves. After exhausting the reasons why I was unhappy with my job he said something that made me think back to that faithful conversation with my mother four years ago. “I never thought you would go right into the work force after college, I saw you backpacking around Europe or wherever for six months or what not.”

I wanted to weep right then and there because I had come out the other side and seen how right my mother had been.

You cannot be both financially stable and rootless at this age unless you by chance are a trust fund kid. Perhaps you take out a loan and travel but then that’s debt you get to pay back and that’s difficult to do when jobs are not easy to come by. So you wait until you do have a job and save up as much as you can…by that time you may be in your thirties and have a mortgage to worry about and kids to raise.

I only write what I know and at this point this is my naïve point of view of seeing what happens to the things you wanted verses the things you needed to do. As much as I love “It’s a Wonderful Life” taking the George Bailey point of view and just being happy with what I have is a good way to live life. But for me personally, I want more and who knows maybe one day I’ll get lucky and be able to do it all before I’m 30.

People are not welcoming in Seattle. If you’re walking down the street, residents are frigid and anxious to not make eye contact. If you dare to smile at someone and say good morning, you will be lucky if they even spare you a glance. I have on at least one occasion approached someone for directions and I was greeted with them silently puting their headphones in and walking away. After listening to similar experiences from friends not native to the Emerald City, I knew I wasn't alone in my observations.

Two friends of mine were over for dinner this last Friday. One had just moved up from Portland a few months ago and the other had recently moved back to the city after living in Bellingham, where we both attended school. The latter was talking about how difficult it was to meet new people since moving to Seattle – a topic I have talked about many times, myself. Outside of a university setting, it was much more difficult to make new friends…but it was especially difficult in Seattle.

I recalled this last New Years Eve and how I had chosen to spend it in Bellingham, a place I had only visited on one other occasion since graduating from university. My best friend lives up that way and I decided it would be good to get out of Seattle. Despite that I was only there for one night, going back to Bellingham was in a lot of ways like going home. I didn’t realize how homesick I was for my old college town until I got there. All my old friends had mostly moved away but even so the residents of Bellingham welcomed me back with open arms. People were happy to talk to us around the town. We were greeted with open doors and smiles as we went from one bar to the next. Yes, this was New Years Eve and everyone around was probably a few drinks in and merry at that. But having lived in that town for nearly four years, I knew that this was the same treatment I would receive on any given day in that area.

The Pacific Northwest isn’t given a great reputation due to our weather and the way it tends to bring on Seasonal Affective Disorder (aka seasonal depression). We don’t quite have the warm charm  that is associated with the southern part of the United States (coming from a Texas family I know that all too well.) But as the friend who recently moved up from Portland assured me - it’s not people in the Pacific Northwest that seem allergic to the idea of making friends or acquaintances outside their cliques -  just people in Seattle.

I have made a few good friends since moving to the city but nothing like the friends I have had before. There have been times where I meet some new people and we all seem to have a good time. Then later I’ll suggest another gathering and there is agreement to this but no follow up or effort to do it again.

So, after examining that conversation from Friday night dinner, I have looked back on all the places I have visited and lived over my life time. The conclusion I have come to is that between two other continents and numerous domestic cities and states; nowhere has ever been as anti-social as Seattle.

The United Kingdom is like a second home to me. I have lived there and visited numerous times, some of my best friends live there and I make a habit of going back as often as I can. Weather wise the U.K. is not unlike Seattle but the attitudes of the people could not be more different. Ironically, The English have always been prey to the stereotype of having a ‘stiff upper-lip’ –meaning they appear to be frigid and emotionless. From my experiences and stories I have heard from others, the Brits are warm and friendly. In fact in a lot of ways, their hospitality would easily compare to that American ‘southern hospitality.’

I hate to put generalizations on things and obviously this isn’t applicable to everyone who lives in Seattle. Most of the time if you can manage to get into a conversation with people they are very polite and friendly…but unfortunately ‘breaking the ice’ seems impossible 90 percent of the time. At the end of the day it leaves you both mortified and relieved. I was happy to find that my difficult experiences with meeting new people post-college could possibly have to do with Seattle’s culture, and the knowledge that not everywhere else was like that. Yet, mortified that these attitudes would probably remain consistent unless I move elsewhere.

"Our teacher says 'actions character.' I think it means if we didn't do anything we wouldn't be anybody." -- Jenny, An Education

Quoting a movie seems a bit inappropriate for a more serious topic, but I think this suits it quite well.

Lately it seems I have been surrounded by individuals who are constantly unhappy with their lives or current situation and choose to spend the time they have complaining about it. That's as close to any action as they take when it comes to those said unhappy situations. They could try and stand up for themselves, try and find another career opportunity (although I can understand the difficulty of that one), do something different. But for whatever reason they don't even attempt to change their difficult situations.

As someone who has always been proactive I have a harder time sympathizing with people who would rather let life push and sway them in every which way rather than taking the control for themselves. There are so many people in the world who are in the worse of circumstances and they are doing whatever they can to try and change that. I'm not even completely thrilled with certain aspects of my life and I am always trying to find solutions to that unhappiness. So when I hear people not taking any time to try and improve their lives but instead to just continue and complain, my knee jerk reaction is a feeling of condescension and arrogance. Yet, after a minute of forcing maturity upon myself...I think about the same assertion my best friend C has repeated since we were teenagers, "Humans are creatures of habit."

In a nutshell, we don't like change. In fact we naturally avoid it in anyway we can. This fact unto itself gives perhaps some reason as to why we remain in a miserable relationship, stay at a job we hate, or can't bring ourselves to snap out of our usual monotonous schedule. Unfortunately, there is comfort in routine. We know what to expect but if we break from it or if change occurs...then what? The unexpected and that leads to fear? Why fear? Because we can't prepare for the unexpected. Obviously this is not how most people pick apart the reasons for their lack of action in changing their unhappiness...this is simply me psychologically picking it apart.
But at our core, we do know that we abhor the idea of change.

So my advice for facing this fear? You ask yourself one basic question.

Is not taking a chance worth me continuing to be this unhappy?

Most times people realize that it is indeed not worth staying unhappy. The next and most important step however is biting the bullet and forcing yourself to take the action necessary. At the end of the day it really is only themselves who can change anything.

You will find that the majority of fashionistas are in their own way, historians. They have all studied or been inspired by past eras and their respectful styles. However, you needn't be a fashionista nor historian to have a favorite fashion period. My personal favorite is hands down the Roaring Twenties. The style then was chic and brand new during this time, despite that women were still fighting for equal rights among men they liberated themselves through their appearance. Cropped hair often times in finger curls, relaxed, loose dresses, long strands of necklaces, all topped off with bright red lips. It's a sexy, timeless look that has always appealed to me. In honor of my favorite era I celebrated my birthday last night with a small group of friends at a low-key yet delicious speakeasy out in Capitol Hill. Now, while I may not go out in true flapper wear (asI have in the past) for this occasion, I have found different ways to bring my favorite look into the modern era.                                                                               

Long, layered, necklaces and pendants are thankfully a big trend at the moment. The long necklaces are 1920s unto themselves and you can customize that look depending on the necklace. However, if you still want to go traditional twenties...thankfully the long strands of pearls never quite went out of style.                                                                                    

Recreating the dresses of the 1920s is probably the hardest part to figure out and or modernize. The dresses could be quite loose and unfortunately many women including yours truly have a difficult time pulling that off when the fashion in dresses is to be form fitting. I think I have found a way to do it though. If you cannot 1.) Find a looser traditional 20s style dress or 2.) if you don't feel comfortable wearing it out...then try a slip dress. Slip dresses are form fitting but still silk and satin which is very typical of that time as well. I have also found several that have a low waist line which is still in style with that of the Roaring Twenties. In fact my prom dress was very much like the slip dress below.

Last but not lease...a dash of red lipsitck and you're ready to do the Charleston and throw back a few sidecars.

Summer is officially here in full swing and with the hot weather there seems to have been a renewed sense of activity around me. Everyone and everything appears to be moving so fast. In the last two months much has taken place. Dale, one of my best friends is Saudi Arabia bound for an amazing opportunity teaching English at a university there. He'll be there for a year and despite that I know it's only temporary, i'm gonna be a bit amiss without him and his reliable ear.

As for change directly involving me...

I had been in an ongoing debater about finding another apartment somewhere else in the city -- purely for another type of neighborhood. But, I love my apartment and I really love the price I pay for it. So I have started to redecorate and make it a little more of a home as I know I'm not leaving anytime soon and strangely enough...I'm okay with that. I've always been a very red person and -- I have to say -- it's astounding what bright red opaque curtains can do to liven up a 1920s studio. I also rearranged the apartment and enlisted some friends to help put together a desk I bought. It's still a work in progress but coming together rather nicely.

The other change that's about to take place in my life is that I am enlisting myself into Tae-Kwon-Do. I'll write more on this later but long story short I went to a womens self-defense seminar and did very well. It was a great experience and I'm sure throwing myself into the course will give me the work out plan I have been looking for. It will also be nice to meet more people outside the work place.

Europe plans are slowly coming together a little more. Plans need to be solidified pretty quickly.

I still haven't quite found what I'm looking for and even though I don't beleive I have really begun to scrath the surface...for the first time in months I'm beginning to feel like I may be slowly crawling out of this rut I have been stuck in for some time.

Breaking up is always hard to do. But in the majority of my experiences, breakups generally result in little to no further contact with your former significant other. Whatever tension or seeds of dislike that may have left a bitter taste in your mouth at the end of what started out as a pretty sweet thing can seem to blossom and cause you to outright dislike your ex even more than you did when you initially broke up. Hating them is just so much easier and simpler. It's those feelings of contempt which keep you from returning to a dead relationship. It’s those feelings that will seem so hopeful at first but then go all awry and leave you wounded... again. In a way it can be a self defense mechanism of sorts -- saving you from yourself as well as your lustful feelings for your ex.

In my case it hasn't been this straightforward.

Friday night

- Had hair dyed and cut

- Met up with an old friend at the Alibi Room for a quick drink. He offered me a small writing gig and told me about his travels to South America. I told him about our friend, K, and her wedding in Wyoming.

Saturday

- Went skydiving for the first time. It was both scary and amazing! I have been promising myself I would do it since I was a kid and it was completely worth it. Another bucket list item checked off!

- Went to a car show in the small town where the skydiving took place. Enjoyed the hot weather and had garlic sausages for lunch while looking at amazing cars.

- Tired after the adrenaline rush of free falling wore off; but still managed to meet up with a friend at a Mexican joint for good food and a strong margeritas.

- Dead tired from the big day and am out like a light by 11:30.

Sunday

- Go to local diner for cinnamon swirl french toast with caramel syrup and to watch the World Cup. While there Josh Homme of Queens of the Stoneage walks in with his wife Brody, former lead singer of the Distillers. Spent much of breakfast with my time divided between the game and trying to not flip out in a starstruck sorta way. No, I didn't go up and say anything to them. They were with their little girl obviously enjoying family time.

-Spain ( who I was rooting for) wins the World Cup.

- News item of interest; The Barefoot Bandit is apprehended in the Bahamas.

When do we become adults? Is it when we become the age that is legally considered an adult? Graduate from college? Find our first real job? I’m almost 23-years-old and yesterday, I swear, I was an 18-year-old freshman embarking on a slightly irresponsible college career.

It’s something I half-joke about when I say, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” to my fellow twenty something friends.  However, there is a lot of truth in that statement for it  does seem bizarre to think that we actually are grown ups.

Lately though I have started to feel those growing pains. Twelve days ago I was a bridesmaid in a close friends wedding. Last week another close friend told me she was moving to France in a couple of months. Then last Friday – my best friends Dad died. Yet it was only three years ago that all three of these friends and I were in England at the same university. Back when we would go out to the pub after class, and not have a care in the world. But in three years life has gone into fast forward mode — the big life decisions and changes that were so far away when we were children became realities that we are now faced with on an almost daily basis.

If you ask most people when life started to speed up, I have a feeling they would say when they graduated from high school. It’s at that time in our life where we are taken out of the cellophane shell that is our safe existence in our parents household to facing the big problems of the bizarre and dangerous world.  In the blink of an eye, your decisions seem to go from what you were going to spend your allowance on at the end of the week to deciding how much of your pay check to put in your retirement fund.

…and it scares you. It scares the living crap out of you.

Because with life going so fast and bigger decisions being made, you almost go into a panic mode over the things you still need to do before your youth escapes you. I’m starting to think that fear and realization of mortality is finally when it hits you —welcome to being a grown up.

I recently helped my friend D clean out her closet. D is a graduate student in the field of chemistry. 0 false 18 pt 18 pt 0 0 false false false Due to two unique circumstances—she spends all day in a lab, and her two best friends are guys—she has never really thought much about developing a sense of style. She recently asked me what I would recommend in terms of clothes. While I'm a strong advocate of never pushing my own style on someone, but rather letting them develop their own, there are some signature items that every woman should definitely have in her wardrobe. I have seen these lists in numerous magazines before but these are my own personal "must have" wardrobe pieces that I consider timeless.  

Pea coats have been around for ages and as far as I can tell they aren't going out of style anytime soon. They are warm and fashionable for fall and winter. Pea coasts can be dressed up or down but always hold some sophistication. I personally got a good deal on my classic navy blue pea coat for $75 from American Eagle during the off-season. I have continued to wear it over the last five years, including three years at university and a bitterly cold Christmas in Germany and Amsterdam.

Pair of All Star Converse (a.k.a Chuck Taylors)

They have been an iconic fashion item since the 1950s but what most people don’t know is that these shoes were around a lot earlier than that…about 1910 even! They became popularized around 1917 when baseball star Chuck Taylor began wearing them on the field. A few decades later the teenagers of the 1950s were sporting them for casual wear. But as most of us know the Chuck Taylors have remained popular throughout every generation’s youth since. The great thing about Chuck Taylors is that you can wear them in a variety of ways. I wore mine all through college and high school and never got sick of them. Whether they are high tops or low tops, you can go very casual with them or use them to dress down an already sophisticated look —say with pressed jeans and a pea coat (see above). You see what I did there?

Clutches are what I consider the cherry on top of a “dressy casual” look. I’ll explain – if you take a pair of classic black pumps, a clutch and some ‘look at me’ jewelry — put those on over jeans and a t-shirt you have just transformed your outfit into one that you can take out on the town. If you want to stay on a budget then don’t settle on the first clutch you see. I have only ever needed and or wanted one in my wardrobe. But my best advice is to find a clutch that is versatile and comes with a chain or strap to hook on to the ends of the clutch and wear as a pit bag or a regular purse. Clutches are small and they have no handles so despite how fabulous they are they can be forgettable if you’re caught up in a deep conversation or simply too intoxicated to remember it later on in the night. Or perhaps you just like the option. Either way I looked high and low until I found a clutch with this option. Lastly the other great thing about clutches is you can have fun with them. They don’t need to be a basic color to go with every outfit. In fact if you decided to get one with a snazzy color or a more intricate design (within reason of course) it can up the ante in brining more depth to your overall outfit. 

The little black dress

For most people the little black dress resonates images of Audrey Hepburn wearing Hubert Givenchy’s timeless little black dress in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Timeless indeed. The little black dress is fashion advice that has been passed down from mothers to daughters for generations. The reason? You can turn this piece into almost anything you want for whatever occasion – be it glamorous and show stopping or elegant and understated. The best tip I can give on this item is to find one that you can be versatile with and find one that is age appropriate. If you’re young and in your twenties find something that is young and a little sexy. I personally finally found my perfect little black dress at BCBG.

A silk camisole 

It’s comfortable, it’s classy, it’s sexy and it immediately adds something to an outfit. Too make these last long I would avoid white as it tends to get dingier and if you’re as clumsy as I am you will spill something on it at some point or another. Also avoid really bright colors when it comes to silk camisoles, as you want it to be a piece that can easily be worn with most things. I own one in pale green that has beading on some bust and like my pea coat it has lasted over four years. It’s good to wear on a night out but can easily be an elegant yet understated top to wear under a suit or with dress pants.

Trench coat

There are few things as sexy and sophisticated as a well fitting trench coat. Despite those men wear them as well — women have made this seemingly basic piece effeminate and sexy without showing any skin. Trench coats tend to be a little more costly but my mother has had one for over fifteen years and it still is in amazing shape – definitely worth the extra cash if you can find one you really love. Whether it be black, grey, tan, or even red, it’s a must have for fall and early spring.

A pair of classic black pumps

Over the years there have been many variations on the black pump. When I first started getting out of my tomboy phase and experimenting with heels, the pointed toe was very much in style. However, I chose to veer away from the pointed toe and go for the classic curved toe. The reason I chose to do this is because the curved toe has never gone out of style and I’m sure sooner or later the pointed one will. I also suggest not getting a pair of heels that are too high. The ones I currently own are at 4 inches and I would not go any higher. Aside from the fact that it’s a miracle I can walk in heels at all let alone 4 inches, your feet were not made to curve at such harsh angles. The classic black pump was made to be worn with anything but if it’s a shoe that is always making your feet ache — you’re less likely to want to wear them. Bottom line; know your comfort zone in height of heel.

A crisp white Oxford shirt

There will always be an occasion for a white Oxford shirt in your life. You may not go out dancing with it but in terms of the workplace or perhaps a dinner with your significant others parents, the classic white Oxford shirt is great for a very dressed up and professional look or a business casual look with tailored jeans and nice shoes. Be warned though, this shirt is not something that you can simply find and buy. The fit needs to be right or you can either look like you’re about to bust out of the shirt or like it’s drowning you. If you do fine one but it doesn’t fit quite right; get a larger size and have it tailored.

Pair of leather boots (black or brown)

Boots have never really gone out of style but in the last few years they have come back in such a force. I personally like my flat boots just because I would wear them more than heeled boots, but by all means if you love the heels then get the heeled boots. A nice black or a rich brown is your best bet when coming to this item. The best thing about leather boots is you can keep them for years and as they age and get a bit dull and scuffed the cooler they sometimes look. Now I know the pirate style boots that go over the knee and fold are quite popular right now. But lets face it; most women who can pull those off are not average height. So if you’re shorter, like I am, don’t get something that’s going to dwarf your legs even more.

Pair of well-tailored trousers/dress pants

Pretty standard description of what’s required for this item. But just for clarification this does not include gaucho shorts and if you do own a pair, please promptly throw them away. A pair of black dress pants should be relatively well fitted in the butt and hips and gradually become looser throughout the legs. They are an item that you should be able to both wear to a job interview and perhaps a more formal dinner with a nice top, if needed.

A pencil skirt

Yes, it’s perfect for around the office. But if you can find a pencil skirt that is made of a more casual material you can dress it down. I searched high and low for a decent pencil skirt for ages and finally found one that has a tie belt on top. I wear it with a clean white t-shirt tucked in and flats when I want to dress it down. I would not suggest getting a pencil skirt that does not have a slit in the back. The slit makes it much easier for you to move around in and keeps the skirt from riding up. A good test to see if a pencil skirt is too tight as with dress pants ­— check for panty lines.

A well cut blazer

This is not your typical blazer from a pantsuit. Think tweed or wool and something well cut that you can throw over a pair of jeans or a dress. This is a great piece that you can layer and go out casual with sneakers and jeans or wear with a fashionable but simple dress and jewelry for a more put together look.

What do you consider a "must have" for every woman's wardrobe?